It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
