He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
