Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
