goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
