oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
