question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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