Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
