Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
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