he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
