Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
