At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
