i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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