we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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