return my video game
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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