Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
