From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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