It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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