I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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