u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
