okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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