I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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