Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
