You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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