you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
