Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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