It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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