jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
