Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Randomize
