one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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