its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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