The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
