Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
