if you like me you must not know who I am
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
