Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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