i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Floor bacon is actually really good
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
