they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
