i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize