I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
