So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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