Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
