gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
