TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
