You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
