somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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