You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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