Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
