how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
the raccoons are back...
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