i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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