umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
