yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
