That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
