people are starting to question the shark bite story
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
